jebmo’s posthaven

A missing chapter?

There is one more facet of the whole "Being Alone" subject that I haven't seen discussed by the author (to be honest I am not pretending that I can do better than him: maybe he just thought that it did not fit in the way he wanted to present his analysis).

The idea predates (for me) reading the book, and goes back to reading a much older book (John Irving's "A Prayer for Owen Meany") - which includes this about Loneliness: "Rituals are comforting; rituals combat loneliness."

Since reading it I often mused about what is the actual relationship between loneliness and rituals. For sure a person spending a lot of time alone will create rituals and routines. But does this mean that rituals are only a symptom of loneliness?
What if rituals were not just a cure, as suggested by Irving, but also a bit of a cause? Don't we all feel a bit disappointed when someone else (even a friend, a lover, a dear relative) somehow disrupts our own little habits?

And yet, going back to the African proverb I quoted above, it does not necessarily mean that a lonely person is a prisoner of routine. In fact, if you do not have to consult with family or friends beforehand you can decide for a new course of action at the drop of a hat; at least in my experience the less co-dependency you have, the quicker you can decide and act upon your decisions.