Most of the dialogue for Game of Thrones' season six finale was catch phrases. Did anyone else find that distracting? Not that there weren't beautiful visuals and beautiful plot twists and beautiful libraries, but the dialogue was constantly winking at me and it made me feel weird!
[SPOILERS FOR GAME OF THRONES BELOW]
Let's see:
- Tyrion said "the great game" referring to the proverbial "game of thrones," twice.
- Varys finished Ellaria Sand's very dramatic sentence for her with the Targaryens' house words "fire and blood."
- Sansa and Jon had a good LOL about "winter is here," which was off-putting both because Jon's laugh is unsettling and because both of them fully know that winter is prime White Walker season. And because "winter is coming" is a bad meme at this point, and 9 in 10 people who reference it also think "Khaleesi" is Daenerys' first name.
- Walder Frey got to shout "the Freys and Lannisters send their regards," a line I've been quibbling over since last week's teaser trailer because it's a callback to a line that Roose Bolton whispers into Robb Stark's ear in season three.
- Cersei wine-boards a septa and then moonwalks out of the room doing a cutesie impression of her "Shame. Shame. Shame." chant from the end of last season. It's almost like she doesn't know that's already a bad meme too!
- "Promise me, Ned." Lyanna Stark's last words are repeated about 8,000 times in the book (in the narrow span of time in which Ned is even alive to remember them, so it's very dense), and they are again in the show!
- Lil Lyanna Mormont gives a rousing "the North remembers" speech, which segues into perhaps the most unsettling catch phrase use of the entire episode...
- "The King in the North." Hooooo, boy. I can't wait to see how this works out the second time around!
In all, none of the catch phrases did for me — chills-wise — what seeing Dany's ships scootin' across to Westeros after six seasons did. I swear, Dany's butt and that Iron Throne are like a new TV generation's Jim and Pam. One more year until they fall in love, people!
i am trolled
More and more this show is starting to feel like a puppet show in which some lanky dude's wrists are visible. The writers teased Lady Stoneheart all season, only to hold her back yet again. They set up what seemed to be an elaborate political plot for Margaery, just to barbecue her with extremely cheesy-looking green flames. All along the only thing anyone could say for Cersei was that she loved her children — and they said it a lot — but she destroyed Tommen's life and barely batted an eye when he Thelma and Louise-ed it out of there. Unlikely character combination #9,478, Olenna Tyrell and Ellaria Sand, waltzed into the picture — okay, sure. A reverse Red Wedding never came, and Arya quietly slit the throat of one dude who was definitely top of the pool to be the show's second-ever natural death anyway. I am trolled.
I am trolled by Ned and Lyanna whispering about Jon Snow's parentage so it's unclear if Bran really got what was going down; I am trolled by King in the North 2.0; and I am trolled by the props department, who made way too small of a head for Rickon's direwolf on purpose, just so we would write feeble theories. I know that happened last week but I'm still rankled.
Let me know in the comments if I missed any seamlessly integrated meta one-liners. "What's he doing, plucking his cunt hairs?" does not count.
LEARNING THE GAME OF THRONES THEME SONG ON A FUTURISTIC KEYBOARD
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