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Real-estate investing offers a way to earn money while building for your financial future—but it’s also an easy way to lose your shirt if you’re not careful.

If you do your research and commit to tried-and-true systems, you can make your money back and then some.

That’s why we want to go through 8 ways you can make money by investing in real estate. They’re all different, and we certainly don’t suggest you try all 8 methods. But this is a great launching point if you’re just starting out.

How to invest in real estate in 8 ways

Here are the 8 ways you can invest in real estate. The method you choose ultimately depends on your financial situation and what you hope to achieve. If you want to learn more, check out our article on real estate investing myths.

#1: Real-estate investment trust (REIT)

If you’re looking for a way to invest in real estate that’s lower risk than buying property, this is the method for you.

Real estate investment trusts, or REIT, act like mutual funds for real estate. Think of them like a basket. In the basket are different properties you can invest in. Instead of investing in individual ones, you invest in the entire basket along with other investors. REITs are typically managed by a company (i.e. a trust).

Your investment goes towards buying and developing the properties to turn into eventual profit. Investors get paid dividends with REITs like a normal fund.

REITs are typically managed by a company (i.e. a trust). They also come in a variety of different forms. You can invest in REITs that focus on healthcare buildings like hospitals or retail buildings like shopping malls.

Overall, REITs are a great place to start if you’re looking to get your toes wet in real estate investing. Not only do you not have to worry about paying enormous amounts for a property, but you get started today with a broker.  They are an excellent and low-risk way to diversify your portfolio into real-estate. And you never have to think about it just like a normal index fund.

For more, check out our article on mutual funds to learn how to start investing with a broker today.

#2: Rental property

Admit it: You’ve flirted with the idea of buying a single-family home and renting it out for passive income.

If you’re careful about the property you buy and the person you rent it to, it can be a great way to make some money while you pay off the mortgage for the property. And as rent prices rise each year, your mortgage will remain relatively fixed—increasing your earnings as a result.

However, you need to keep in mind the phantom costs of purchasing a home. These are the unseen but consequential costs such as regular maintenance and repairs that many would-be homeowners don’t consider when they first purchase a house.

And since you’ll be the landlord of the property, you’re on the hook for any issues that might arise when your tenet calls you at 3am complaining about a burst pipe.

Also, many folks assume that landlords can set any rent they want. That’s not true. They can only set rent at a price that the market will support. If the local economy begins to struggle, you could be forced to rent the property at a rate that’s less than your mortgage. You’d start losing money every month.

If you’re willing to put in the work to be a good landlord, here is our article on how to buy a house.

#3: House-hacking

House-hacking sounds like you’re trying to access the mainframe of your house in a cheesy hacking montage.

But it’s actually a lucrative way to make money in real estate.

Here’s how house-hacking works: You purchase a multi-flat building. Then you live in one unit while you rent out the other ones. This allows you to generate money via rent while you cut down on your own expenses by living on the property.

This is similar to purchasing rental property. But instead of being on the hook for maintenance and repairs for one property, you’ll be responsible for all of your units. This can be a big drawback for those looking to get involved in house-hacking.

However, if you have the funds to hire repair people or property managers (or if you just want to do it yourself), house-hacking could be a great way to make some cash in real estate.

#4: Flipping property

Flipping properties seem straightforward: Buy a house, renovate it, and then sell it for more than you bought it for—and more than it cost to renovate it.

However, would-be house flippers should know that this is one of the most time, money, and energy consuming ways to make money in real estate. Not only do you need the money to purchase a property, but you also need to put in the sweat equity to renovate a house.

Some of the best advice I’ve been given is to only consider flipping if I had a network of trusted contractors that I could rely on. Otherwise, it’s really easy for costs to get out of hand.

And even when you renovate a house, it’s not guaranteed that it’ll sell any better than before. Factors such as the real estate market, the economy, and the location play a massive role as well.

That said, it still has the potential to give you massive profits if you play your cards right.

#5: Short-term room rentals

Much like house-hacking, this method involves you renting out property you already live on. However, there’s a slight difference to this one: You don’t even have to own the property in order to rent it out.

With the advent of websites like Airbnb and even Craigslist, you can rent out different rooms in your house or apartment for cash.

And with the combination of the right listing and the right location, you can make a good amount of money from those sites—like this enterprising I Will Teach reader:

For more on how to get started with Airbnb, here’s the official how to article from the company itself.

Also, here’s another great guide from our friends over at The Points Guy.

#6: Real-estate funds

These act like REITs where you invest in a mutual fund with other investors in companies that actively manage different properties for you. The difference is that real-estate investment funds also include direct investments into real estate properties.

REITs act much like stocks and other equities, whereas real-estate funds are like your typical mutual funds.

“Real-estate funds generally increase in value through appreciation and generally do not provide short-term income to investors as do REITs,” explains Stuart Michelson, a finance professor for Stetson University. “Real estate funds gain value mostly through an increase in value of the assets.”

You should expect higher fees than a standard REIT.

#7: Online real-estate investing

This method relies on web platforms such as Fundrise to get your investment done for you.

These platforms allow real-estate managers to connect with potential investors to help fund the purchase or investment of different properties.

Think of it like Kickstarter for real estate. But instead of a dumb cooler that will never get delivered to you, you can receive returns like a typical stock or bond investment.

And with a web platform, it can be a much more intuitive experience.

If you’re interested, here are a few online real-estate investing platforms you can use to get started:

• Fundrise
• Prodigy Network
• RealtyShares

#8: Private equity funds

Much like mutual funds, private equity funds pool the money of different investors together in order to invest in property. Unlike an REIT or real-estate trust, though, these funds are typically only available to accredited investors who have a lot of money on hand to start investing.

To start, you need at least $100,000 to begin investing. That number can easily start to get in the seven-figure range depending on the fund.

As such it’s not as accessible to the layman as many of the other options on this list. However, it’s still worth noting just in case that applies to you.

Is real-estate investing right for you?

Real-estate investment can be an interesting and fun way to diversify your assets. If you play your cards right and do your research, there’s no telling how much money you can make through these investments.

But you have to be careful. Real-estate tends to be a very volatile market, and there are a lot of dangers that go into it if you don’t keep in mind certain elements. To learn more about this, be sure to check out our very best resources on the topic below:

• Real estate investing: The myths, facts, and ways to get started
• The Real Scoop on Real Estate (the first of a 7 part series)
• Don’t buy a house without asking yourself this question
• Real estate is an overrated investment

How to Invest in Real Estate in 2020 is a post from: I Will Teach You To Be Rich.

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Special teams have always been important in hockey.

In the last three years, NHL power plays have operated at close to 20% efficiency, up from the previous eight years. Meanwhile, shorthanded goals are on the rise, with teams scoring an average of 8.06 when down a man after 55 games.

A good penalty killing strategy can be the difference between winning and losing games.

It begins with trigger moments — pressure points when the penalty killing team should pounce on the puck. Whether your team is aggressive or passive on the PK, most of the time, you will only have one chance to clear the puck. You need to be able to recognize when to pressure, so everyone can jump together. With more goals on the PK than ever, sometimes a quick support and odd-man rush can be a nightmare for the opponent.

If you are first on the puck for every pressure point, you’ll have a greater chance to spend less time in your own zone defending.

1. Lost faceoff

In my last article, I talked about having a plan on a faceoff when you are on the power play. Knowing that more and more teams try to generate offence from the faceoff, if you lose the draw, you need to know what to do and where to go.

For the penalty killers, it’s the same pattern as the power play. No one will be set in the next 5-10 seconds after the puck is dropped, so pressuring after a lost faceoff can be a significant trigger moment.

Most NHL teams send their centre to pressure the puck, but at the junior and women’s international level, some coaches send their winger. It allows teams to dictate which side of the ice to keep the puck.

• See also:
  • Rikard Gronborg on hybrid coaching and the rise of Swedish hockey (VIDEO)
  • How Hockey Canada video coach Tyler Dietrich prepares his teams
  • Chalk Talk: Oilers assistant coach Glen Gulutzan breaks down the cycle (VIDEO)

The post Breaking down 5 pressure points when on the penalty kill (VIDEOS) appeared first on The Coaches Site.

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If one of your 2020 goals is to work on more productive habits and increase your own happiness in life, Yale might be able to help you get there.

Yale is offering its course on “The Science of Well-Being” online through Coursea for anyone to take, provided you have an internet connection.

The course officially kicks off today and runs for ten weeks. Each week has roughly 2 hours of coursework you’ll need to get through, typically a mixture of readings and videos. For instance, this week involves 4 videos totaling 14 minutes and eight different readings. Next week involves 7 videos totaling 63 minutes of watch time, 3 readings, and a quiz.

Here’s the official course description:

“In this course, you will engage in a series of challenges designed to increase your own happiness and build more productive habits. As preparation for these tasks, Professor Laurie Santos reveals misconceptions about happiness, annoying features of the mind that lead us to think the way we do, and the research that can help us change. You will ultimately be prepared to successfully incorporate a specific wellness activity into your life.”

Everything is done at your own pace, so you can work ahead if you’d like or play catchup if you end up falling behind. The whole thing is estimated to take around 20 hours in total to finish.

While taking the course is free, if you want to get a certificate marking that completion you’ll need to pay $50. That certificate can be shared in the “Certificates” portion of your LinkedIn profile or mentioned on your resume, in a cover letter, or wherever else you think it might be applicable. Of course, you can certainly mention completing the course even if you don’t pay that $50.

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A research paper by Jan Lennartsson, Carl Lindberg, and Hall of Fame defenceman Nicklas Lidstrom entitled Game Intelligence in Team Sports piqued my interest recently and is worthy of a read. The research deals with the elusive quality that elite players have and that ordinary players lack: the ability to make quick, consistent, and effective decisions.

The paper describes the quality as “being regarded as something incomprehensible… [a quality] excellent players are praised for” and “less obvious than other more tangible qualities (skills).”

I can attest to the fact that coaches often rue over players with large toolboxes but without knowledge of how to use those tools.

The academic authors set out to use mathematical modelling and game theory to create simulations, thereby testing frequently occurring game situations. They then fact-check the results of the simulations by leveraging NHL veteran Lidstrom’s insights, earning the former Detroit Red Wings defenceman an author’s credit for his work. 

See also:

• Chalk Talk: Defensive gap control with Avalanche assistant Nolan Pratt
• Former Canucks GM Mike Gillis explains how the best teams in the world develop culture
• Rikard Grönborg on how Sweden develops world-class defencemen

All open-ended invasion type games are dependent on the ability for players to make reliable real-time decisions. Despite the chaotic nature of play; positional responsibilities, roles and derived tactics are required to establish control over the chaotic. This fact allowed the authors to use math and theory to predict, simulate and single out the best decisions.

A zero-sum starting point was established so that the mathematical model could work. The rules were, “no advanced knowledge of one another” and a defined goal to defend against the opposition, preventing goals against first, and then attempt to score as a second condition. The authors also equalized competing teams in terms of skill. By doing this, the algorithm could examine potential in a variety of game situations. Amazingly, the mathematical models and Lidstrom’s decisions matched.

In the study, the researchers were able to answer questions like: what results in a change in puck possession in a one-on-one situation and is it best to pass often and early or just when under pressure? They were also able to answer questions like: is it best to carry the puck up the ice into scoring areas, as well as where and how should a shot be made to score?

Of the many interesting findings of this study, it was determined that an optimal or well-executed strategy does not always guarantee victory. Players can execute individual, group, and team tactics with little error but not see success. We call this “puck bounces,” or just plain bad luck. But, in the world of game theory, this outcome suggests random variation and a known limitation to experimental design. The finding — our preference to win every time we lace up — isn’t realistic.

On the flip side is the conclusion that teams who do not follow a chosen set of tactics or strategies have only a marginal chance of winning.

“A strategic game is a choice where the participants make their decisions simultaneously… To have a chance, structure must exist and an understanding of strategy must be known.”

Therefore, coaches need to teach, lead, and adjust strategy to create an opportunity to win.

The study also provides proof that the best defence is to make offensive options the poorest. And proficiency in defence is a predictable, patient, and purposeful approach. This largely involves deflecting the attack to the perimeter of play.

Think Lidstrom: purposeful, patient, deliberate, and effective.

Isolating and slowing the attack creates evidence of disadvantage by (defensive) numerical advantage, ie. what we now call defence support. When executed on the ice — and in the theoretical model — positioning in relation to the net and away from high scoring areas, suggest a turnover or takeaway. When limited space and time options are available to the attacker, good defence is assured. Further, the study finds that defensively the greatest effort should be placed on limiting opportunity and access into the zone and into the best scoring areas. 

The algorithm also infers that location on the ice is a reliable predictor for tactical decisions. This finding may seem like common sense but a counter-intuitive finding is that off a dump, and in a loose puck situation; a defender is better to not chase but rather “take ice” and hold their position relative to the net. This is because the model sees a foot race and battle for the puck as having a high probability of failure. A critical failure, like a fall, results in an open challenge situation (1 vs 0) and/or immediate numerical disadvantage.  

In 2 vs 1 situations, the model confirms success through initial pressure and on-ice proximity to the puck carrier followed by a switch towards covering the other attacker. This S-shaped strategy is noted by the authors to be Lidstrom’s and not how defensive players tend to play the puck carrier in today’s game. In this situation, the model finds the most reliable method is to play a 2 vs 1 as two 1 vs 1s, with the defender taking the non-puck carrier and the goaltender playing the puck carrier to end the play.

On the offensive side of the game, the speed of the attack proved to be most important. In real-world tactics such as winger, centre drive or drive-delay create a chance of beating a defender and/or finding scoring opportunities. Further, the maintenance of puck control, especially on entries, is an important strategy to create offensive potentials. These findings confirm trends we are recognizing in the modern game including Connor McDavid drives, and power play entries where one player carries the puck deep into the zone to set the point of attack.

In offensive drives, puck control and decisions to go 1 vs 1 are found to be dependent on the gap between the defender and the attacker. The relative positioning between the two players as well as the assertiveness of the defender are vital cues. If a shorted gap exists and/or the defender aggressively pursues the puck carrier a deke or move and skating it out was mathematically confirmed as best. However, if the gap is appropriate and the defender is laying back then the 1 vs 1 predictably ends. T

he reliable choice for the attacker when a defender maintains gap is to change speed and direction by skating away or passing to a teammate. The model also suggests to “pass often and pass early.” Passing often and early was shown to overwhelm.

In terms of shot potential, the lowest chance of scoring and the greatest chance of a turnover is when attackers were steered and angled into locations away from the net. They found that “besides the skill of the shooter the probability of scoring depends on the distance to the goal and firing angle.” A more central and close position is desirable and two possible scorers, rather than one, result in one-timer scoring most often.

Preventing goals from passes across the midline of the slot create “a considerably larger shot potential (with a one-timer) than a shot fired from a player who has puck possession for some time.” The top of the circles, inside the dots, mid-slot, and net-side all seem to suggest optimal scoring locations from one-time shots.

Although this paper is theoretical and reads like a complicated series of formulas Lidstrom’s confirmation and the researcher’s ideas certainly get you thinking about current strategies and what works best.

The post A study of “game intelligence” in the sport of hockey appeared first on Hockey Coaching Tips & Videos by the Pros.

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The planets, very much not to scale.Illustration: Shutterstock

Redditors love to ask each other for their favorite fun, mindblowing, counterintuitive, or disturbing facts. Every few months a new “fun fact” thread ends up on the front page of Reddit, and thousands of people pitch in with their favorites. I looked at years’ worth of threads, collected the very best facts, and verified them.

I selected only facts that were so cool and surprising that I had to check them before I’d believe them. And then I did check them, and added citations. You can confidently share these facts and know that Google will back you up.

• “When you get a kidney transplant, they usually just leave your original kidneys in your body and put the third kidney in your pelvis.”—horse_you_rode_in_on [confirmed]
• “There are roughly 200 corpses on Mount Everest that are used as way points for climbers.”—Scrappy_Larue [NSFW: confirmed]
• “If you made $5,000 a day since Columbus first stepped in America, you still wouldn’t have one billion dollars today.”—heitorab [confirmed; you’d hit a billion in 2040]
• “People in the southern hemisphere see the moon upside down compared to the north.”—Auxilae [when you look at this illustration it’s obvious]
  
• “Every two minutes, we take as many photos as all of humanity took during the 1800s.”—UnraoSandhu [confirmed; in fact more photos were taken in the past seven years than all of previous history]
  
• “Every day there are [82] YEARS’ worth of video being published on YouTube.”—areemkay and AvioNaught [updated, as the number is way bigger than when they posted this fact]
• “You could fit all of the planets in our solar system between the Earth and the moon. With room to spare.”—thumper5 [confirmed]
  
• “You have no muscles in your fingers (besides the tiny tiny tiny muscles around hair follicles). All muscles that control fingers are in your forearm and palm.”—Kii_and_lock [confirmed]
  
• “The first professional recording Jon Bon Jovi ever released was a song called ‘R2-D2 We Wish You A Merry Christmas.’”—DIP_MY_BALLS_IN_IT [confirmed]
  
• “The Mall of America doesn’t actually have heating, even though it’s located in Minnesota. During winter, the heat produced by lights in the stores and the shoppers is enough to keep it at a comfortable temperature.”—buffalo747 [confirmed]
• “The 10th President, John Tyler, has living grandchildren.”—Poor_posture [confirmed last year and no obits since]
• “Pyramids and wooly mammoths coexisted.”—cromwest [confirmed, though it was the tail end of the mammoth population]
• “Sharks were on earth before trees.”—kingJoffi [confirmed]
• “All of the solid objects around [you] are actually ‘vibrating.’”—judsonm123 [confirmed—actually all objects are vibrations]
  
• “43% of all people born prior to 1800 died before the age of 5.”—abbott_costello [confirmed for 1800; roughly confirmed for before 1800]
• “There are more molecules of air in one breath than there are breaths in the atmosphere. That means that every breath you take probably contains at least one molecule of Newton’s last breath.”—SciolistOW “And one of Hitler’s farts.”—cocothepops [confirmed]
  
• “The orbit of Io around Jupiter is short enough that you can observe a solid chunk of the entire orbit in just one night (with a telescope). Like, you can sit there for a few hours and watch Io orbit around Jupiter.”—cryptoz [confirmed]
  
• “George Washington never knew dinosaurs existed.”—jeff_the_nurse [confirmed]
  
• “The Earl of Oxford had an audience with Queen Elizabeth I and he accidentally let out a fart. He was so embarrassed that he traveled the world for seven years.”—symbiosa [confirmed, if you trust 17th-century writer John Aubrey]
  
• “Ireland’s population in [1840] was 8.2 million. Now, even including Northern Ireland, it’s just 6.6 million.”—bluetoad2105 [date corrected slightly]
• “Hitler, Trotsky, Tito, Freud and Stalin all lived in Vienna in 1913.”—rustyhaben [confirmed—and so did Archduke Franz Ferdinand, until he was assassinated the next year, sparking WWI]
• “Redheads typically need more anesthesia than people with different hair color.”—lookslikesausage [yep, about 20% more, as we’re more sensitive to pain. VINDICATED]
• “Cows have best friends and get lonely if they are separated.”—ByzantineBasileus [confirmed]
• “A bear enlisted in the Polish army made it to the rank of Corporal. He also smoked, drank and carried weapons to the front during battles. His name was Wojtek.”—snoodletuber [confirmed, though he was probably just eating the cigarettes]
  
• “Shaq hit almost 12,000 baskets in his career. Exactly 1 of them was a 3-pointer.”—NoMoreMrSpiceGuy [confirmed]
• “There are more hydrogen atoms in a teaspoon of water than there are teaspoons of water in the sea.”—unknown [confirmed, or by combining this and this]
• “There are more trees on Earth than stars in the Milky Way.”—reissavfc [confirmed]
• “90% of the population on Earth lives in the Northern Hemisphere.”—xLudikrous [confirmed]
• “Kale, collard greens, Chinese broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage, kohlrabi, brussels sprouts and broccoli are all the same plant [species]; brassica oleracea. They are just different cultivars.”—cokecakeisawesome [confirmed]
• “There are more permutations of a standard deck of 52 cards than there are seconds since the Big Bang.”—mveinot [confirmed—over a billion times as many, in fact]
  
• “The Mali Emperor Mansa Musa was so rich that while on a pilgrimage to Mecca, he gave away so much gold it caused an economic crisis.”—CoffeeBeanoMan [confirmed]
• “The color orange was named after the fruit, not the other way around.”—Comedyfish_reddit [confirmed]
• “Elephants can control their dick like a second trunk.”—zach84 [confirmed]
  
• “14% of the population is missing a tendon in their arm.”—Swiftapple [confirmed, depending on ethnicity]
• “The CEO of Food for the Poor, the largest international relief and development organization, is named Robin Mahfood.”—garenzy [confirmed]
  
• “Nintendo was founded 34 years before the fall of the Ottoman Empire.”—unknown [confirmed, confirmed]
  
• “One litter of kittens can have more than one father.”—Sammichface [confirmed]
  
• “The USAF accidentally dropped 2 nuclear bombs on North Carolina in January of 1961, and neither exploded.”—rotll [confirmed]
• “The Simpsons is largely credited with coining the term ‘meh.’”—mazdak26 [confirmed, though “mneh” and “mnyeh” predate]
  
• “There are [over a billion] insects for every person alive today.”—tired_commuter [corrected from their underestimation]
• “Pepsi for a short period of time commanded the world’s 7th largest military force.”—mazdak26 [confirmed, confirmed]
• “There are two ATMs in Antarctica and only one works.”—Hang-Out [confirmed]
• “While children of identical twins are legally first cousins, genetically they are half siblings.”—gastropubjscript [confirmed]
• “Entomologists who study cockroaches often become allergic to them. At the same time, they become allergic to most brands of pre-ground coffee.”—crotchblinder [confirmed, confirmed]
• “There’s a place in the Pacific known as Point Nemo. At certain times of the day it’s closer to the ISS than to any land mass.”—PoglaTheGrate [confirmed, confirmed]
• “The letter J wasn’t invented until 1630.”—StevesMcQueenIsHere [confirmed; before then it was a variant of I]

Some quotes have been edited for clarity.

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When it comes to our kids and drugs, we tend to focus on prevention—and rightfully so. We think about how to be good role models when it comes to substance use; we talk to them early and often about the dangers of drugs, peer pressure and hanging out with the wrong crowd. But what about when we do all of that and still, they use?

Even if they have all the right information—even if they know better—teenagers sometimes make bad choices. And when parents find out, they are likely to feel shocked, scared, angry, or all of the above. Psychologist and educator Emma Maynard writes for The Conversation that this makes us lose our calm when we need it the most:

Experts in teenage drug use tell us it’s about informed choices. They advise us to accept that as parents we are unlikely to stop our teenage children doing what they choose, and so, our best approach is to ensure they have the right information, and that they can discuss issues with us openly. In this way, we can help to reduce harm by ensuring teenagers are aware of the risks, and what to do if they need help.

Though this is indeed excellent advice, it is difficult for many parents to follow. My ongoing research looks at the experiences of parents whose children are taking drugs. They value the way practitioners can talk to their teenagers, and understand the value of the advised harm reduction approach.

Despite this, most parents I’ve spoken to have said their gut reaction is to respond differently: more zero tolerance than harm reduction. They tend to ground their children and stop their pocket money. Stories are littered with accounts of rows and escalating sanctions in an endless cycle of panic and rebellion.

In other words, staying calm and rational when you think your child may be using drugs is a whole lot easier said than done. We want to lock them up to keep them safe. But protecting your relationship with them needs to be a top priority so that you can help in the most constructive way possible.

Of course, you’ll need to get the proper professionals in your corner to help you navigate all of this. But there are things you can start doing in your interactions with your child as soon as you discover the drug use to help maintain a strong connection and open communication as you go forward.

Don’t react right away

If you know (or suspect) that your teen is using drugs, the very first thing to do is take a deep breath. And then another one. If you have a partner, talk things through with them before you approach your child. The Partnership for Drug-Free Kids organization stresses the importance of parents getting on the same page and presenting a united front, even if you don’t completely agree on the position you’ll take.

Gather any evidence you can (there is a list of common hiding places here), set your goals and objectives, plan out your initial conversation, and prepare yourself for what is likely to be a very negative reaction.

Talk when you’re calm

Maynard says that expecting yourself to stay calm all the time is extra pressure you don’t need. “But choosing when to talk can help,” she writes. “The parents I spoke to all said the same thing: talk when you are calm, and they are calm. Then you can talk and listen well.”

If things start to escalate and become heated, press “pause” on the conversation and return to it once everyone has cooled off. Try to always come from a place of love. Or, as researcher Molly Bobek with the Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse suggests, come from a place of “non-judgmental curiosity,” which emphasizes asking questions while keeping an open mind:

The relationship with your teen is the most important thing to attend to and not lose sight of when you’re concerned about substance use. Effectively preventing or stopping teen substance use over the long-term cannot happen in the absence of a strong and caring family relationship.

Really listen

If ever there is a time to talk less and listen more, this is it, no matter how tempting it may be to bombard your teenager with lectures full of information. In order to figure out the underlying reason for the drug use—and change the pattern—you have to listen for the “why.” They might be succumbing to social pressures, seeking to push boundaries or craving the physical sensation.

Once you pinpoint the motivation behind the use, you can begin to find solutions or alternatives.

Work on your connection

When something as big and scary as drug use enters your life, it’s hard to think about or talk about anything else. But it’s not a problem likely to be solved overnight, and Maynard says it’s okay—even encouraged—to take a break from it now and then to reconnect:

Have fun. If this means avoiding the topic for a little while, do it. Do something different and light-hearted. Talk about something other than the drugs and any fall-out, such as poor behaviour or school issues. Having fun together is one of the best things we can do to boost resilience, especially when relationships come under strain. It’s also one of the first things we neglect to prioritise.

Bobek also suggests parents consider what is working or going well in their lives by asking themselves this question: “If we weren’t here to talk about Jr.’s substance use, what would we be talking about?”

---

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Former President Barack Obama delivered a eulogy today honoring Representative Elijah Cummings of Maryland, who died last week after a decades-long career in the House of Representatives. Cummings was known in Congress as a staunch defender of voting rights and for his perch as chair of the House Oversight Committee, which put him at the center of the impeachment inquiry now facing President Donald Trump. The widespread bipartisan adulation Cummings’s colleagues had for him was made clear yesterday, when he lay in state at the Capitol—the first African American lawmaker to be afforded that honor in the nation’s history.

Below, the full text of Obama’s remarks as delivered.

To the bishop, and the first lady, and the New Psalmist family, to the Cummings family, Maya, Mr. President, Madam Secretary, Madam Speaker, governor, friends, colleagues, staff.

The seed on good soil, the parable of the sower tells us, stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop. The seed on good soil.

Elijah Cummings came from good soil. And in this sturdy frame, goodness took root. His parents were sharecroppers from the South. They picked tobacco and strawberries, and then sought something better in this city, South Baltimore. Robert worked shifts at a plant, and Ruth cleaned other people’s homes. They became parents of seven, preachers to a small flock. I remember I had the pleasure of meeting Elijah’s mother, Ruth, and she told me she prayed for me every day, and I knew it was true, and I felt better for it. Sometimes people say they are praying for you, and you don’t know. They might be praying about you, but you don’t know if they are praying for you. But I knew Miss Ruth was telling the truth.

So they were the proverbial salt of the earth, and they passed on that strength and that grit, but also that kindness and that faith to their son. As a boy, Elijah's dad made him shine his shoes and tie his tie, and they’d go to the airport—not to board the airplanes, but to watch others do it. I remember Elijah telling me this story. Robert would say, “I have not flied. I may not fly, but you will fly one day. We can’t afford it right now, but you will fly.”

His grandmother—as Elijah related—and as grandmothers do, was a little more impatient with her advice. Your daddy, she said, “he’s been waiting and waiting for a better day. Don’t you wait.” And Elijah did not wait. Against all odds, Elijah earned his degrees. He learned about the rights that all people in this country are supposed to possess, with a little help, apparently, from Perry Mason. Elijah became a lawyer to make sure that others had rights, and his people had their God-given rights, and from the statehouse to the House of Representatives, his commitment to justice and the rights of others would never, ever waver.

[Read: Elijah Cummings, reluctant partisan warrior]

Elijah’s example: a son of parents who rose from nothing to carve out just a little something, a public servant who toiled to guarantee the least of us have the same opportunities that he had earned. A leader who once said he would die for his people, even as he lived every minute for them—his life validates the things we tell ourselves about what’s possible in this country. Not guaranteed, but possible. The possibility that our destinies are not preordained. But rather, through our works, and our dedication, and our willingness to open our hearts to God’s message of love for all people, we can live a purposeful life. That we can reap a bountiful harvest. That we are neither sentenced to wither among the rocks nor assured a bounty, but we have a capacity, the chance, as individuals and as a nation, to root ourselves in good soil.

Elijah understood that. That’s why he fought for justice. That’s why he embraced his beloved community of Baltimore. That’s why he went on to fight for the rights and opportunities of forgotten people all across America, not just in his district. He was never complacent, for he knew that without clarity of purpose and a steadfast faith, and the dogged determination demanded by our liberty, the promise of this nation can wither. Complacency, he knew, was not only corrosive for our collective lives, but for our individual lives.

It has been remarked that Elijah was a kind man. I tell my daughters—and I have to say, listening to Elijah’s daughters speak, that got me choked up. I am sure those of you who have sons feel the same way, but there is something about daughters and their fathers. And I was thinking, I would want my daughters to know how much I love them, but I would also want them to know that being a strong man includes being kind. That there is nothing weak about kindness and compassion. There is nothing weak about looking out for others. There is nothing weak about being honorable. You are not a sucker to have integrity and to treat others with respect. I was sitting here and I was just noticing The Honorable Elijah E. Cummings and, you know, this is a title that we confer on all kinds of people who get elected to public office. We’re supposed to introduce them as honorable.

But Elijah Cummings was honorable before he was elected to office. There’s a difference. There is a difference if you are honorable and treated others honorably outside the limelight. On the side of a road; in a quiet moment, counseling somebody you work with; letting your daughters know you love them. As president, I knew I could always count on Elijah being honorable and doing the right thing. And people have talked about his voice. There is something about his voice. It just made you feel better. There’s some people, they have that deep baritone, a prophetic voice. And when it was good times and we achieved victories together, that voice and that laugh was a gift. But you needed it more during the tough times, when the path ahead looked crooked, when obstacles abounded. When I entertained doubts, or I saw those who were in the fight start to waver, that’s when Elijah’s voice mattered most.

More than once during my presidency, when the economy still looked like it might plunge into depression, when the health-care bill was pronounced dead in Congress, I would watch Elijah rally his colleagues. “The cost of doing nothing isn’t nothing,” he would say, and folks would remember why they entered into public service. “Our children are the living messengers we send to a future we will never see,” he would say, and he would remind all of us that our time is too short not to fight for what’s good and what is true and what is best in America.

Two hundred years to 300 years from now, he would say, people will look back at this moment and they will ask the question “What did you do?” And hearing him, we would be reminded that it falls upon each of us to give voice to the voiceless, and comfort to the sick, and opportunity to those not born to it, and to preserve and nurture our democracy.

Elijah Cummings was a man of noble and good heart. His parents and his faith planted the seeds of hope, and love, and compassion, and righteousness in that good soil of his. He has harvested all the crops that he could, for the Lord has now called Elijah home, to give his humble, faithful servant rest. And it now falls on us to continue his work, so that other young boys and girls from Baltimore, across Maryland, across the United States, and around the world might too have a chance to grow and to flourish. That’s how we will honor him. That’s how we will remember him. That’s what he would hope for. May God bless the memory of the very honorable Elijah Cummings. And may God bless this city, and this state, and this nation that he loved. God bless you.

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